Recurring Words

Inside the Mind of Tragedy introduces words and phrases that I use in The Love of an Angel and The Dream due to the meaning they have on my life and the symbolism behind them.


Moonbeam

First Appearance:

For my Moonbeam
It was hard to love her
But her love moved mountains
And caused raging waves
And healed broken hearts
And having her was worth it”

Meaning: The name Moonbeam came to be when someone I love asked me to call them that. For some reason, it stuck with me, and when I’d write of that person, I always referred to them as Moonbeam.


Butterfly

First Appearance:

For the beautiful one
She was a butterfly
She was meant to fly away in the end
And I loved her
So I let her soar”

Meaning: Moonbeam, the beautiful one, and the butterfly are all words that I use when writing of one specific person, which I described in the above section. The name of this person translates into “beautiful one”, therefore I found it fitting to use in my writing. This person is my beam of light, a beautiful one and a butterfly, because she has transformed into more than she believed she ever could.


Blue Heart

First Appearance:

“Do you think about me and I’m sad because you don’t look at me the same and we don’t talk how we used to, so I guess that our end will be incomplete like our lives
And love me the way I love you and let me love you, maybe I can complete you and I would never hurt you because I know what it feels like when your soul explodes
And you are an angel so can you think like I think about you and dream good things about me and be my ninety until you can’t feel anymore
And be the good that I’m not and be the bad that I am and live my universe and breathe my air, maybe then you’ll know why I’m lost and alone and maybe you’ll see why I love you because you are my blue heart”

Meaning: Usually when describing things with colors, I use the color blue due to it being the one I can connect with the most. By saying “blue heart”, I not only mean that my heart is sad, but that it is cold. The color blue can remind us of winter, which is extremely cold and has an abundance of ice. Although ice isn’t blue, it is depicted in visuals as being blue at times. Therefore I used it to symbolize that my heart is frozen.


Angel

First Appearance: “I miss my angel. If my soul, my existence was the night sky then my Lulu was the moon. She was the only source of light in my life and I didn’t realize it until the moon was no longer full, but new. The light was gone. My angel is gone. But she is like a new moon because we cannot see it, but we always know that it is there.”

Meaning: Losing something that I loved very dearly made me search for an answer as to why that would happen. I came to the conclusion that she had become an angel and was always with me, even if it is not physically. She inspired most of my work regarding loss and grief, but also extremely deep love.


Separating Glass

First Appearance: “I believed everyone I loved when they said that I wouldn’t have to go through this alone. That belief soon faded because they were not the ones waking up with my mind. They did not have the wounds on my soul. They did not feel the burn of my tears. It felt as if we were separated by a glass wall. We viewed each other, but would never be able to truly connect.”

Meaning: The glass wall separating me from everyone else is a thought that I wrote when writing Inside the Mind of Tragedy and it appears twice in The Dream. I wrote pieces surrounding the idea because it was important of me to convey the way that I feel disconnected from the world outside my head. It is one of my favorite ideas to write about due to how in depth I can get within that phrase.


Ninety

First Appearance:

“Do you think about me and I’m sad because you don’t look at me the same and we don’t talk how we used to, so I guess that our end will be incomplete like our lives
And love me the way I love you and let me love you, maybe I can complete you and I would never hurt you because I know what it feels like when your soul explodes
And you are an angel so can you think like I think about you and dream good things about me and be my ninety until you can’t feel anymore
And be the good that I’m not and be the bad that I am and live my universe and breathe my air, maybe then you’ll know why I’m lost and alone and maybe you’ll see why I love you because you are my blue heart”

Meaning: There are three people I usually write about in my works, which are my Moonbeam, my Angel and finally, the Ninety of my life. Ninety is a word that I use to write about someone who has had a very deep impact on my life and has left me at lows, then raised me to highs. The word actually refers to something I consider meaningful between me and this person, therefore I used it in my writing.